Testing was supposed to be a fluke-after trying, charting and fighting for nine months before conceiving the babe, I didn’t expect to have the first month of not preventing yield a sticky egg–but it did. The shriek I let out took over the house as I asked, insisted, begged, “Is that REALLY a plus sign??” to my husband over and over again. Excitedly I pulled out my phone, asking who we should tell first and my husband gently reminded me; “We have to wait.”
Ah yes. The advice that was given to me in my first pregnancy, mainly by doctors, comes to mind:
“Don’t tell until 12 weeks.”
“Wait until the second trimester, in case you lose it.”
“Just in case…”
I want to start off by saying, I get the just in cases. I understand the fear of miscarriage, especially for those with a family history or ones who have had them before. I’m not here to tell you my reasoning for announcing before we even hit 7 weeks is right for anyone else-but for our family? It is.
So we announced.
(Our hilarious announcement that just came out yesterday.)
We decided for a few reasons to announce, and for those who are wondering why, I decided to explain our decision.
Firstly, the first few weeks/months of pregnancy were rough on me last time and I don’t think they’re going to be much better if these past three weeks are any indication: it’s not going to better this time around. It’s wonderful, it’s magnificent, growing a life is a gift-but that doesn’t make my constant nausea and fatigue disappear. I need help. It may be one of the most selfish reasons to tell people earlier on, but with five older kids, I need help these first three months.
With my first pregnancy, I was too scared to ask for it and I dealt with a lot of depression and guilt around how I was parenting the older four children we had. This time, I’m making it known that I need a nap. I need to stop and eat again, because the baby bear is freaky girl out and craving sustenance. It’s been a blessing to be able to say “Yes I slept two hours today, growing a baby is hard work.”
(Our first attempt at a timed photo for our announcement. We decided afterwards that the best choice was probably NOT to have us sitting down…that angle!)
For me, my anxiety also plays a large part in why I am telling people. I know, it sounds insane, wouldn’t my anxiety make me scared and superstitious to tell others? It does. Even now as I’m writing this, I’m terrified something may go wrong. I have nightmares nearly every night we may lose this baby. I’m praying we don’t, there’s people all over praying for the little bear…and that knowledge helps ease my anxiety tremendously.
I believe in prayer and I believe having those pray for us is a great thing.
And lastly, maybe my most selfish reason-if we do lose this child, we will need all the support we can get. I need all the support I can get. Our family will need all the hands and feet helping us through it. Especially me. I am one who mourns pretty hard, and that would be like losing a child. I will need those around me to hold me up and support me. We’re choosing to believe at this point nothing will go wrong; but I also know statistically speaking the chances. One in four women will endure a (known) miscarriage in her life.
If God decides to only let me have this baby a short time, I want all the support I can get.
Again, whatever you choose to announce, whenever you choose to announce, as long as it’s done on your terms I support your choices. This is not how I believe every person should be with announcing, and I understand if you choose a different path-I just wanted people to understand why we made the decision to share our newest joy this early on!
I do plan on updating each month with a “Bumpdate” as well as posting some informational and anecdotal stories and advice for other expecting mothers. I’m going to be talking about our decision on a VBAC vs Repeat Cesarean and a little on my clothing advice for quick and cute outfits when your belly expands daily! So stay tuned:)