To my daughters. 

 
My dear daughters. 

I want better for you. 

Someday, when you’re out in that big scary real world…I want better for you than I see daily. On social media, on the television, in the movies. 

Every day I see women trapped. I see them staying with men who choose to hurt them more than love them. I see bruises and broken eyes. Please, if he hurts you, in anyway, leave. I will always believe you. If he raises his hand to you, if he raises his hand at your children, call me. I will help you leave. And if you can’t leave right away, if you’re not ready to walk away, I will sit there with my phone in my hands, praying you do before he goes too far. I want better for you. 

I see men who aren’t abusive, but also are not supportive. I don’t want that for you. I see mothers parenting alone, in a marriage with someone who does not contribute to raising their children. I want you to marry a man who parents 100%, except maybe a few bad days when he needs 10% for himself. You will have those 90% days as well-and that’s okay. But don’t settle for a man who thinks he is only 50% in charge of the kids…or worse, even less. 

I see women with men who look for love in other places. You deserve a man who gets all the love, physically and emotionally, from you. Do not settle for a man who searches for that affirmation elsewhere, over and over again. I want better for you. 

My daughters, find a man like your father. Find a man who loves you more than the stars. A man who holds you at your best and worst, who looks at you the same no matter which extreme you’re at. Marry a man who holds your dreams in the highest respect. Be with someone who you would be proud to raise a son just like. 

You will not marry a perfect man. I didn’t. Grandma didn’t. There’s no perfect man out there. You may fall in love with a man who struggles with lust, or a man who deals with his own mental health issues. You may fall in love with someone who speaks love differently than you and you may spend a longtime learning how to love each other. It’s okay if you fall in love with someone who isn’t perfect-I don’t want perfection for you. I want better though. 

So if his brokenness begins to break you, leave. If his demons begin to destroy you, leave. If his hurt begins to hurt you-leave. I want better for you. 

My daughters, you are princesses of the highest King. You deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. I promise as long as I live, I will try to my hardest to show you the love you deserve. Your father and I will not be perfect-but we hope to show you what love, adoration and a healthy relationship is. I promise you may hear us argue, you may see us disagree –but you will always see us love each other. 

My loves, you deserve love. You deserve adoration. Don’t stay because he feels like home if home means a prison. Don’t stay because you’re used to him if that means you’re used to being hurt and let down. Don’t stick around because you love him-because you loving him and even he loving you doesn’t make it the right relationship for you. 

You deserve flowers and daisies and rocks picked up on long walks, that simply reminded him of you. You deserve breakfast in bed and dinner out and someone who will hold your hand through every tear. You deserve someone who will laugh at your worst jokes and love your ugliest parts; someone who thinks those ugly parts are still beautiful. You are worthy, you are magnificent, you are loved and you should have the world. Don’t settle for someone who gives you just a small piece of what you deserve.

Have the courage to demand the love you are worth.

Because, my babes, you are worth all the love.

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4 thoughts on “To my daughters. 

  1. This was such a sweet post to your girls. Raising boys, my hope is to instill all of those qualities in a man you spoke of in them, so that they are the kind of men a woman deserves.

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