Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Yesterday, when my child asked me what today is, I told her the truth. It’s Thursday, I said. 

And then I went deeper. 

I told her that it’s also a very special day, when we take a minute and think of or pray for kids who didn’t get as much time on earth as we would have liked them to. 

I told her not all babies come out of their mommies tummies, and sometimes when they do, they are very sick and return to heaven before the family around them are ready. 

In her ever precious Princess way, I got back “But Heaven is beautiful, so I’m happy they’re there.”

 I reminded her that’s true, but that doesn’t stop us from missing them. We’re happy daddy’s father isn’t hurting but we also still miss him. And like Grandpa, we still talk about these babies because we aren’t going to forget about them. She seemed completely okay with that answer, oh to have a child’s unwavering, unquestioning faith, and our conversation ended there. 

I’m sure some people won’t agree with my choice to tell my seven year old about Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. I can sense some of you shaking your heads. “Let her be little.” I can see this coming back to bite me-I don’t have this whole parenting thing figured out and it very well may. 

I told her though because she has already been effected by pregnancy and infant loss. 

I told her because every 1 in 4 women will deal with this in their lifetime.

 I introduced this to my 7 year old daughter because I don’t want her someday to be trying to go through it alone and not realize she is not alone at all. 

I told her because statically speaking, one of my children or their significant others may deal with this type of loss. 

I told her because there should be no shame in mourning, yet heartless comments are made daily to those who are and I refuse to let my daughters or sons be the ones to make those. 

I told her because all those out there who have lost a child-I remember you. I remember your child. And while I won’t bring it up unless you are comfortable, I want you to always know we value that baby, no matter how long you carried them in your body, heart or arms. 

As I said, it’s very possible this may come back and bite me in the bottom. But, even if it does, I’m okay with that. I want to share with my kids the importance of remembering those gone too soon. 

To all those out there who have suffered through Infant and Pregnancy loss, you’re in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, yesterday and every day. 

  

4 thoughts on “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

  1. I commend you for having that conversation with your daughter, especially in what seems like a way she can start to understand. Topics like this should be introduced early, I think, to make them more aware and more accepting of it. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever gone through this.

  2. This is a beautiful discussion you had with her. It is okay to be honest and still want to protect her. I miscarried before I had my daughter and this post made me think about how I might talk to her about it one day. I guess I will have to cross that bridge when we get there 🙂 Thanks for the post!

  3. This is such an amazingly sweet post, and it brought tears to my eyes. I am the 1 in 4, and we have yet to have a child here with us. We deeply our angel baby, and everything she would have been. It is so touching that you would honor those precious souls and acknowledge the silent hurt of so many. Thank you!

    • ljmarceau@gmail.com says:

      I am so sorry for your loss. I hope to always be vocal about it with my kids, because so many people out there don’t just get to say it from a distance.

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