How to survive…VBS

It’s Vacation Bible School week and as my fellow Christians know, this week means war. I’m not talking about a spiritual war, though. I’m talking about a war against your basic needs and human rights. A war where the opponents are super cute. It’s a war that has been being fought for hundreds of years-actually probably not, but at least a few decades. The Vacation Bible School War, Battle of 2016 begins in just a few short hours for us and I’m reaching out in solidarity to my VBS brothers and sisters.

How to survive-
You will need a few things to get through this week my friends. I am here to offer some suggestions for the tools you bring to battle. 

Water. A gallon or three should be sufficient. Why the church does this battle in the blazing hot summer months I will never know, but we all herd ourselves into the building with no air condition and windows that are painted shut-literally. You will need water to keep up your strength, for the nights will be long and the mornings come too soon.
Snacks. Also for strength reasons. And rumor has it, some of the enemies will bargain with you for said snacks, and honestly? making alliances with bribes? No shame. No shame in that game.
Extra clothes. Because there’s a high chance you’ll be spit up on, have someone touch your outfit with dirty hands, maybe a child will lick you(true story, actually happened), or the simple age old “I peed my pants because I have had two kids in three years and my bladder isn’t made for war any more”. Just be safe, my friends. Have a change of clothes.
An extra set of keys. You’re probably going to misplace yours.
A pair of sunglasses. These are handy for two reasons: 1. You can hide your eyes if you fall asleep on the job. And 2. You can hide your eyes are you cry silently over your iPhones new “case” a child glued on it.
Phone charger. Because calling in backup is always an option…and you may need charge breaks if you’re catching them all in between classes. Pokestop at the church? Yes please.
Remember the FitBit! Because if you’re not going to sit down for four hours straight you better at least get in those steps, girlfriend.
Caffeine. If I need to explain this one to you, tap out now. You are far too innocent to understand.
A buddy. This will be a lifesaver, I promise. You can make the dangerous “I’m almost crying” eyes over the zone below and the buddy will tag team in to take over. This may be the difference between crashing at night in your bed and falling face first into the floor during the worship songs. Thank the good Lord that these songs are mostly upbeat. 

And finally, don’t forget your bible.

Because in all seriousness, I jest and I joke but VBS weeks growing up are some of the most precious and special moments in my young Christian life-only rivaled with Camp Ashmere(the Christian camp I attended..and now send my babies to!!) I’ve worked vacation bible school enough weeks now to know it’s exhausting and the volunteers involved deserve medals, but you’re making huge differences in these kids lives! It’s all about bringing our children and the children entrusted to our care to The Word. So good luck to all my fellow VBS volunteers out there.

(And any who want to, we can meet up Friday night after the final song, for a drink at the local bar…if you can stay awake long enough!)


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