In the past three years, she’s dyed her tips green, the tips and a few streaks purple, and right now she has a peek-a-boo darker purple that may grow to be a full head of purple if she so chooses. (And writes her persuasive essay on why she wishes for her whole head to be purple..but that’s another story for another time! Edit: It is all purple right now! Fading, but all purple.)
I’m not a huge fan of her dying her hair these colors. Honestly, I liked the purple tips, but she has a beautiful strawberry blonde hair that it breaks my heart to dye over.
But it’s not my hair.
Beyond making her brush it so it doesn’t become a wreck, she has free range with her hair. Same with her body. (Within legal rights-she cannot get a tattoo before 18 because it’s illegal, her piercings will not happen until they are optional and legal, etc)
Because it’s not my body.
My children will grow up knowing no one owns their body but themselves. They are in complete control of their bodies, they are in charge of what happens to it, and anything or anyone who takes that right and ownership away from that is in the wrong.
I teach them this for their future relationships. Emotional, physical, and sexual domestic abuse are very real threats against our children. I want them to know, no matter how much they may love another person, they do not belong to them. I want them to understand there is a big difference between belonging with someone and belonging to someone. And that includes myself and my husband.
I teach them their bodies are their own because sexual abuse is rampant. I talked about the importance of sexual abuse being an open discussion with your children and in it, I cited an article that discusses the importance of body autonomy. No one has the right to ever tell my kids what to do with their bodies. And for me, that includes things that are cosmetic, like hair dye. Maybe it’s going a little far; you may think I’m over the top with that. But I want them to know it is true in every area of their selves.
I let my daughter dye her hair whatever color she wants it to be. It’s her body, it’s her choice. Sometimes it makes great grandparents roll their eyes at me and people on the street do a double take. As long as she is comfortable with that, it’s fine with me. I’ve had my hair four or five colors in the past three years as well, and I’m a 25 year traveling around with six kids in tow, so we’re used to the weird looks.
When she asks me to get her ears pierced, I’m going to say yes. When she wants a tattoo, I’ll bring her on her 18th birthday…and probably get one with her.