Today Josh and I celebrate our 4th anniversary. We have been married for four years now and life is so different than it was the day we said I do. While I’m sure everyone’s life changes in four years, our four years of marriage have seen 7 kids, 2 pregnancies, a move and lots of good food and wine. It’s been an amazing go thus far in our run.
This past week or so, I’ve been remembering the vows I shared with him. They were simple and sweet, saturated in love for him…but they were also so naive. I promised to watch football, to cuddle him when he needs it, to trust him and love him. But when I wrote the vows, I didn’t know the struggles and trials our relationship would face. I also didn’t know the deep joy and happiness that we would experience. These past four years of marriage(and our five together) have been a daunting, overwhelming, sometimes exhausting blessing. I wouldn’t do it with anyone else other than you.
But now, four years later, I want to change up the vows I gave you a wee bit. Just so they fit a little better and describe a little more this journey called marriage that we are taking together. They may be a little less idyllic, but they are filled with love every step of the way still.
Here’s what my vows today would look like.
My dear Joshua. I promise to love, honor and obey you. Love you, even when you need to shower but want to give me a kiss. Honor you, by walking away from other men who flirt with me in bars and proudly tell the story of my 6 foot plus tall husband. Obey you, when my money spending self is feeling reckless and you’re always logical self tells me I shouldn’t. I promise to always look to you as the leader of our home, even when that becomes difficult and I want to lead. We Marceau women are strong willed and stubborn…so I may continue to fail. But I’ll try.
I promise to love you even when I can’t love myself. You’re still the mountain to my river; you are strong and stable and sturdy and I am flowing and moving and sometimes even overflowing with emotions and thoughts. I so adore your mountain-ness. And I thank you for that everyday, even when I’m huffing and hawing at your lack of spontaneity.
I am so excited to see the family we will create together. You lean into me and I lean into you as we fight to grow and raise our family. I won’t always have the answer; despite you proclaiming I am the better parent, you are the best father I could have ever wanted for my children. You are the best father out there and there is nothing I am more honored to see you be than a daddy. I’m sorry for the late nights I pouted in the living room while nursing or the times one of us had to take a nap instead of being together because we were just so tired, but those times are almost behind us.
And because of you, our sons are seeing the men they should become and our daughters the men they should expect when they are married.
No matter if our family is done growing, or we take that leap back into the system, or we make another—I am so thankful you are the father my children have.
Joshua, I can’t promise to never complain about watching football. I hate it so much. I will sometimes complain when you ask me to open up your beer as you plop in front of the television set on a Sunday afternoon. And I will whine when you aren’t adventurous in dressing up with us for Halloween. I may even moan over your choice in clothing still…I’m trying not to, but really? T-Shirts every darn day?!
I can’t promise to always be a good wife or a strong wife or a top notch mama. I can’t promise to love you as well as you deserve it-and you deserve it. But I can promise that you are enough for me, for this entire life. I can promise that I’ll keep choosing my dandelion to even out the fire in me.When we fight, I will come and make you talk it out with me. I will make boundaries and keep strong against anything of this world that tempts me to hurt you.
(I’ve always been the crazy one, y’all!)
I want to spend this entire lifetime searching for and pleasing Jesus with you. The fight will continue to keep our marriage Christ centered in a me centered world. I will continue to make time for date nights and *wink wink* nights and prayer together. May we never forget Who made this marriage and Who is the reason for our love for one another.
I will love you forever and always.
My vows now are a bit more raw and real than the ones we shared 4 years ago, but I think that’s true about marriage for most people. Four years in and most couples have faced hardships, temptations, and heartache. But we are also four years stronger.
Are you married? If so how long have you been married?