After the year I’ve seen, with friends and loved ones losing babies from early in pregnancy to late in pregnancy, to a friend who is in the hospital right now fighting for her and her baby’s lives( If you have any inkling to help, the family can use prayers but they could also use some financial support: here )-I’ve promised myself that this pregnancy I will be better about being grateful for health, less whining about small things and no matter what this baby is...I will be thankful.
We found out Wednesday what the little baby growing inside me is. It’s a healthy looking, big boy.
Now, since I am pretty open and authentic on this blog, complete honesty? Even after promising myself to be thankful, even after having the most perfect name picked out for both sexes, even after being told that this baby looks amazing and healthy-a huge fear of mine-I was disappointed. Unlike last time, I didn’t exclsim excitedly, “A BOY?! Josh you were RIGHT!” Instead, I looked over at my husband, smiled and said, “I guess we thought wrong this time.”
I wasn’t the only one disappointed. Doodle(12) relayed that when she was told it was a boy, she was a little sad because she wanted a baby sister. Princess(7) actually cried. And my Monkey(5) responded with “No mom, it’s a girl.” I’m still hoping that he will begin to believe soon or later that he is in fact getting another baby brother.
Disappointment clouded our house. We are all very thankful for a baby in there growing and thriving, but we were disappointed-and it took some getting used to after we all had been hoping so hard for a little lady to be added to our party bus. The hope for a girl came from each of us for different reasons, so here’s what we wanted-and what helped us reconcile our disappointment.
The name. I love our little boy name, Bear Charles. It has a lot of meaning to both my husband and I. However, our little girl’s name was meant to be Amy-Jane Lucille; a name that has such a deep and purposeful meaning to me. Both names come from my great grandmothers, two amazing, intelligent women. My Nana Lucille is still with us, at 97 kicking stronger than I do now. I desperately wanted to bestow the honor of naming a child after her and letting her know that was the cause of our name choice was her. If we decide to have another biological child, I believe whole heartedly this will become easier, but for now I’m still sad about this.
The numbers. If we had a girl this time around, we would have been like a modern day Brady, three boys and three girls. I grew up in girl heavy house, five girls and two boys. So the idea of being more even made me very happy. However, it’s all in God’s plan and three boys who can all play together is a good thing too.
The clothes. Man, this one sounds so superficial, but girls clothes are cuter. And much more my style. I’m already looking at hipster boy clothes now, but I wanted the big frilly dresses and the beautiful head pieces. I’ll just have to keep focusing those on Princess(Since Doodle already outgrew me dressing her up. Ho. hum.)
What I really want to depict in this post though, is that disappointment is normal. It’s okay for those of you out there who are hoping for one sex of a baby to be disappointed if it isn’t what you were hoping for. I promise. It happens to the best of us and you’ll come around to love your child, boy or girl! I swear!
Has anyone else experienced the sex disappointment when finding out what a belly baby is?