I’ve talked about my order of importance in my life, and one of those at the top of the list is my relationship with my husband. We both live pretty busy lives, though one of ours revolves around small children and being home, and it’s a treat when we get to go out on date night. A treat we try to make sure to get at least twice a month.
More often than not lately, we’ve been slacking on this date night experience for one reason or another. I was away, he was working, pregnancy has me miserable, etc. Our dates are lacking though and I can feel it in our relationship.
Date night is a wonderful thing for us. It’s the rare moment we are able to be alone, completely alone, and focus on only each other. The babe doesn’t go to sleep most nights before us and he ends up in our bed often. The other kids are always around-it’s hard to find a place for 5 kids to go at once. So my husband and I have to rely on our date nights as our time to reconnect, remember why we’re in this together, and simply enjoy each other. We were best friends long before we were married and it’s a chance to rekindle that friendship that has meant the world to me the past 5 years of my life.
It’s important as well, however, that you make date night special-for yourself and your spouse! I’m not talking a five star restaurant, a limo ride, the whole nine yards every time. I’m talking about a few things you can do to help your date night be as awesome as it can be.
1. Get yourself looking good. Yes, we are always beautiful-women are beautiful everyday, in any situation or circumstance. But I know, at least for me, getting my hair looking good, my make up on and putting on some cute clothes instead of the usual t-shirt and leggings ensemble. Getting dressed to the best also makes you feel like this is a special occasion, something that isn’t an everyday event. So take ten minutes and put on some lipstick and eyeliner! Or if that’s not your deal, your best shirt and pants.
2. Keep it about you two. Don’t bring a child. REALLY. Date nights are a time for you and your spouse to reconnect and it’s significantly harder to do that if you have a baby at the table with you. I understand it’s hard to do this when your child is a newborn, I understand it’s hard when you nurse…I truly do. But a date night is for you two alone. It’s a little more romantic too when you’re not dodging food being thrown by your 9 month old.
3. Keep your phone use down to a minimum. I get it. Having kids, you don’t want to just shut your phone off on date night(Or maybe that’s just my personal anxiety?). However, I recommend setting it up so the person watching your kids comes up as an “anytime” ring, even if it’s silent and going from there. There’s a wonderful amount of intimacy that comes from closing out the world and the everyday mundane things our smart phones and focusing just on each other. If you’re like me and love to document the delicious food you’re eating, take the photo then and upload it later.
4. Try out old or new places-but know where you’re going before you leave the house! It’s so easy to argue about who wants to go where, or if you’re like us try to make the other decide where to go. If you have a clear idea of where you want to go beforehand, you are more likely to get there in a timely fashion and less likely to be annoyed with each other before you sit down for dinner. But try new things! Really! It’s fun to experiment together.
5. Enjoy your time. And each other! I know this one sounds obvious, but really, focus on having fun and enjoying each other. Talk about things you haven’t talked about in months, discuss things that aren’t everyday discussions. Forget about the kids for a few minutes, the move, jobs. Talk about fun things.
And do these things often! Like I said, the husband and I aim for two date nights a week. At the moment, and honestly the next few months, this will be hard, but after the move is done we plan to start back up again!
How do you and your spouse reconnect?