It’s been sitting on my mind for the past few months and I decided I was going to do some serious soul searching and Bible reading and church talking about how to be a more Biblical woman. For years, I’ve been going along with what I’ve seen, read, and heard. I’m at this point in my spiritual journey where I finally feel I can revisit and figure out how to be a Biblical woman, using my own knowledge of the Bible, relying on trustworthy women and men of God and discerning what is right and what is worldly. In that list, I have been exploring modesty, submission, prayer, and fellowship. I have chosen to share my discoveries with you. Please remember your Christian path and journey will never be the same as mine and this is what I feel called to; not what I am telling YOU to live as.
In the process of becoming a better, more Biblical Christian, I had a bit of a fun challenge. As I sat here, thinking about things I had to revamp to help me along the way, something that came up is friendship and fellowship.
I have quite a few friends outside the church and before I began this journey, I had quite a few inside it. The Bible has been pretty clear in my searching that we should strive for and have fellowship with fellow Christians.
I had a few really good friends in the church who were fabulous, but I wanted more. I wanted to surround myself with other Christian friends, and in my looking, I found I was not alone in this endeavor. There are other Christians out there who are looking for fellowship and sometimes? It can be hard to find. I’m going to share with you all some ways I found a better, stronger fellowship with other Christians.
Don’t limit yourself to people who are “like you”. Most my fellowship at this point is not with 20 year olds. I don’t have a lot in common with other 24 year olds. I’m not complaining-I chose to marry, to foster, to adopt, to have kids. But there are not many other people who aren’t even 25 who have their sixth child on the way. That’s just fact. For me to build a fellowship, I had to stop holding out for young mothers or mothers of many and build friendships with men and women I felt comfortable with and ones who built me up spiritually-while keeping me accountable. I have found that…and in that group I am the youngest person. But unless I happen to be joking about my pastor being older than my father or calling my husband an old man, it doesn’t change the fellowship we have.
Join groups! Even if you are anxious, even if you don’t think you will belong, even if you feel weird joining them-join other Christian groups and bible studies. Our church has multiple Bible studies in a week, they have different groups that meet with different criteria(women’s groups, family groups, marriage studies, etc.) Try out as many as you want and stick to one or two( or three or four!) that fit your needs. If your church doesn;t have options for those, don’t be afraid to branch out to other churches! We have members of my small group that have never been to our Baptist church, who were simply looking for the group we provided.
For the other parents out there, fellowship will create a world of safety for your children. I will never be the person who claims the church, or any church family, is perfect. But our church family is filled with love and guidance. My kids have been so blessed to make friend after friend in the church, have leader after leader they can look up to and learn from. It’s a great thing to be able to know if something happens, there are parents and other members a phone call away who can help me connect with them; especially if it’s a matter of the heart Josh and I can’t.
Which leads me to another piece of advice-if your church is lacking a group that you think it needs? Make your own! The “Young Adults” Group within our church had begun a few years back when we had a couple of 20 somethings looking for a group. This past summer my pastor asked me to revamp it and take head. In the few months it’s been going on, we have grown a group the size of 12 on the regular and have others who are interested in coming in. That’s an amazing growth. More importantly, that group has given me a great fellowship and friendship with other women who hold me accountable and men who my husband can spend time with. (Usually simply watching football, but hey, isn’t that what men do?) We have created a safe place where we feel comfortable with each other to explore Christianity deeper and a fun place where we can enjoy each other’s company. Don’t be afraid to begin your own small group if you feel the need for one in your church family.
And finally, you don’t need to be in the same room as someone to have a good fellowship with them. I have quite a few friends online who have pushed me towards being a better Christian, as well as a few who I don’t see often but I know I can rely on. My best friend lives over 1000 miles away, but she is the first to yell at me when I’m stepping out of line as a Christian woman. I have a few blogs I follow whose authors I value as friends that force me to think, reconsider and explore.
Fellowship is such an important part of our Christian lives. The more time we spend in fellowship with other Christians, the more we will grow and challenge our faith to become better ones. Fellowship helps a person mature in their faith.