This past week, or four, if you’ve been on social media you’ve seen the new spouse challenge. I was tagged by a good friend of mine, Alaina, to celebrate my spouse for seven days, with seven things I love about him.
Of course, this brings a good question up, one that fellow bloggers have even written about-how authentic is it to have seven full days of loving on your spouse? Doesn’t that seem a little forced? Is that truly showing what marriage is?
At first I felt a little sad for the people who automatically think seven days of marital bliss is just being made up for Facebook. In all honesty, most the time my husband and I are truly, completely, and utterly in love and happy with each other. Sure, some days we have a stressed or tense moment when we can’t agree on dinner or I’m feeling touched out for the hundredth time that day and honey, he better not even try to kiss me. But usually, it’s bliss.
That thought brought me to the realization that the past two weeks or so, we haven’t been living in marital bliss. I opened up a little on my Instagram about how July was just a hard month for me. That included a lot of fighting and disagreements with my husband. When I was first tagged(like a week ago, I know, I’m terrible!), we were just getting out of this slump and I wondered to myself how honest and transparent it would be to name off reasons I loved him while secretly not liking him all that much.
That thought alone meant I desperately needed to do this.
Because, I didn’t like my husband very much at that moment, but I still loved him. He is still my husband, the man I promised to love, cherish, and honor for the rest of our life together. He’s still the daddy to our babes. So I had to take a moment and write out a weeks worth of reasons I love him.
- He is a super good father.
- He’s also a really amazing son and son in law.
- He cooks. Better than me…maybe better than you!
- He loved me at my worst
- He really loves Jesus and leads our home to follow Him.
- He challenges me on all fronts of my behaviors and parenting.
- His quiet and introvert way totally complements my loud and extroverted self.
Sometimes we won’t get along with our spouses. It’s just that simple. While I’m a firm believer marriages can be and are happy, it’s still two imperfect and flawed humans trying to fit into this beautiful creation from God-and we all know how well humans screw up God’s wonderful gifts to us. If you were tagged in this challenge, I urge you to do it. Privately or publicly, whether it feels like forced praise or it comes easily. Take a moment to write about and reflect those positive parts of your spouse.
Some days you may just be holding on by a thread, be snapping at each other non-stop, falling asleep on the couch instead of catching up on your shows together. Some days you may want to run away, he may be driving you nuts with his incessant insistence he can TOTALLY find the house you’re going to without a GPS(but he’s been saying that for a few hours now…). Those are the days you most need to sit back and talk about the reasons you love him and what he does right for you. The days you’re nagging non-stop, taking far too long to put on the perfect make-up, watching Grey’s Anatomy for the third time through…those are the days he needs to list the reasons he loves you.
Take the time to praise your spouse. Changing your outlook on them may change your feelings towards them.